Dorothy Parker

If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.

Albert Einstein

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I’m not sure about the former.

Lisa Simpson - Episode: Another Simpsons Clip Show

Lisa: Mom, romance is dead. It was acquired in a hostile takeover by Hallmark and Disney, homogenized, then sold off piece by piece.

http://westegg.com/simpsons/

Christopher Marlowe

Money can`t buy love, but it improves your bargaining position.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christopher_Marlowe

From some 40+ year old moron at Popeyes when asked if he wanted white meat or dark.

What’s the difference?

He really didn’t know.  They had to explain it to him.  Twice.  I was in line behind him.  Ordered a Box O’ Chicken, got my food and left while he was still going over the intricacies of the fast food menu.

http://www.popeyes.com/

I’m turning on some Jack Handy action. Love the thoughts.

This plugin displays one Deep Thought with Jack Handy from SNL on your WordPress blog a day. (See my sidebar - at main or on a page - for a live example.)

http://spoken-for.org/archives/2005/02/22/810/

Bertolt Brecht

He who laughs last has not yet heard the bad news.

Woody Allen

The good people sleep much better at night than the bad people. Of course, the bad people enjoy the waking hours much more.

http://www.quotedb.com/authors/woody-allen

Warren Ellis on writing.

We’ve all been Jack Kerouac, sitting in a cafe writing as the sun comes up, blasted by sleeplessness and sex or drugs or music or booze and just trying to get it all down while we can, because we’ll be somewhere else tomorrow and we’re dead longer than we’re living.

http://www.warrenellis.com/?p=3177

Abraham Lincoln

If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?

http://www.quotedb.com/authors/abraham-lincoln